Not Your Average Death Blog
Sometimes Love Looks Like a Bowl of Cold Water
Every morning on my run, my dog makes a stop at a house in the neighborhood where a very kind woman leaves out ice water for passing dogs. Every day, she fills a heavy bowl, places it in the shade under a tree, and freezes a huge block of ice so that the water stays cold even on hot days. It takes planning, effort and valuable freezer space.
And yet, she does it anyway.
She doesn't know which dogs will come by. But every day, she does this small thing to make life a little easier for these four-legged neighbors she'll likely never know.
It got me thinking about the ways we care for the people we love.
What You Need to Know About Estate Planning at 30
What estate planning documents does a healthy 30-year-old actually need?
In this episode of The Death Readiness Podcast, Jill answers a question from a young listener who wondered what someone her age should be doing about estate planning. Using stories from her own life, including the loss of several young friends, Jill explains why estate planning isn't just for retirees.
You'll learn why powers of attorney and healthcare advance directives may be more important than a Will when you're young, how the famous Nancy Cruzan case changed the conversation around end-of-life decision-making, and what a recent Michigan court decision means for pregnant individuals and advance directives. Most importantly, you'll learn why estate planning doesn't have to be perfect; it just has to start.
Michigan Just Changed How Advance Directives Work
Until a few days ago, there was a significant limitation built into Michigan law that most people didn’t know about.
If a patient was pregnant, their end-of-life decisions could be overridden, even if those decisions were clearly stated and even if they had chosen someone they trusted to speak for them.
Michigan law required advance directives to include this language:
“The patient advocate designation cannot be used to make a medical treatment decision to withhold or withdraw treatment from a patient who is pregnant that would result in the pregnant patient’s death.”
In other words, there were circumstances where your voice didn’t control, even when you had done everything “right.” That restriction has now been struck down as a violation of the Michigan Constitution.
How a Poet Helped Me Face What I Feared
Sometimes a moment arrives at exactly the wrong time and exactly the right time. That’s what happened when I tried to watch Come See Me in the Good Light, the documentary about poet Andrea Gibson’s life and final years. I didn’t get far before I shut it off, not because it was too sad, but because it came too close to something I had been avoiding in my own life.
In 2020, I had surgery to remove thyroid cancer. I’m fine today, and I’m grateful. But being “fine” doesn’t mean you get to stop paying attention. Follow-up scans, biopsies, and check-ins are still part of the deal. But, for the past year, I’ve avoided all of it. I told myself I’d deal with it “soon.” Then months, and then a year, passed.
How to Talk to Your Parents About Getting Help at Home
If you’ve ever tried to talk to your parents about getting help at home, or moving out of their home, you already know that it’s not an easy conversation. They might tell you they’re “fine.” They might insist they don’t need help. They might even accuse you of trying to take away their independence. Meanwhile, you’re lying awake at night, wondering if they’re safe, if the stove is still on, or if that “little fall” was actually a big warning sign.
These challenges and anxieties are exactly why I wanted to bring Laura Lynn Morrissey, founder of Silver Savvy, onto The Death Readiness Podcast today. She helps families navigate aging and care decisions with less conflict and more problem-solving. We talked about how to start these conversations with your parents early, how to identify the “influencer” in your family, and how to make decisions that protect your parents’ dignity and your peace of mind.
Here are the biggest takeaways.
Why Medical Aid in Dying and Assisted Suicide Are Not the Same Thing
Today, Jill unpacks what medical aid in dying really means, how it differs from assisted suicide, and what the law says for families navigating these difficult conversations. With legal insights and examples from California’s End of Life Option Act, this Tuesday Triage episode shines a light on a topic often tucked away in silence.
What Happens When a Pregnant Woman Is Declared Brain Dead?
Over the weekend, my daughter and I volunteered at a local event. She earned enough tickets to “buy” an old-school etch-a-sketch—the kind with the knobs you twist to draw. The next morning, I saw it beside her bed, and she had written: “Word of the day: kind.”
Something had happened the day before that hurt her feelings. And I think that was her way of reminding herself to respond with grace.
This week’s episode is about someone else’s daughter. And it’s about the laws that can take away our ability to make decisions, even when we think we’ve made them.
What Every Parent Needs to Know When Their Child Turns 18
When your child legally becomes an adult at age 18, a lot changes.
You can still pay their tuition, keep them on your health insurance, pack their favorite snacks for the dorm. But in a medical emergency, you don’t have a right to their healthcare information.
Sadly, most parents don’t realize this until there’s an unexpected crisis.
Today on The Death Readiness Podcast, I share the stories of two young women whose families fought landmark legal battles because neither had signed an advance healthcare directive before tragedy struck. Their stories made national headlines, and they also left a legacy we can learn from.