What Every Parent Needs to Know When Their Child Turns 18
When your child legally becomes an adult at age 18, a lot changes.
You can still pay their tuition, keep them on your health insurance, pack their favorite snacks for the dorm. But in a medical emergency, you don’t have a right to their healthcare information.
Sadly, most parents don’t realize this until there’s an unexpected crisis.
Today on The Death Readiness Podcast, I share the stories of two young women whose families fought landmark legal battles because neither had signed an advance healthcare directive before tragedy struck. Their stories made national headlines, and they also left a legacy we can learn from.
The Stories of Nancy Cruzan and Terri Schiavo
Nancy Cruzan was 25 years old when a car accident left her in a persistent vegetative state. Her husband initially approved the use of a feeding tube, but after years with no improvement, Nancy’s parents wanted to remove it.
Because Nancy hadn’t documented her wishes, the state of Missouri required “clear and convincing evidence” that termination of life-sustaining nutrients is what she would have wanted. A three-year legal battle followed, including a decision by the U.S. Supreme Court.
Terri Schiavo’s case was similarly tragic and ignited national debate. At just 26, Terri suffered cardiac arrest and subsequently existed in a persistent vegetative state. She hadn’t named an agent to make decisions for her in a healthcare power of attorney or signed an advance directive. Her husband and parents disagreed about what she would have wanted. The case wound through courts, the Florida state legislature, and media cycles before Terri’s feeding tube was ultimately removed fifteen years later.
Both women were young, married, and had loving families. But without documents in place, their loved ones were forced to navigate complex decisions with limited legal authority and no clear guidance.
If you have a young adult in your life, here’s what they need:
A Healthcare Power of Attorney – naming someone they trust to make medical decisions if they can’t.
An Advance Healthcare Directive – outlining their preferences for care if they ever can’t communicate them.
These documents are simple, inexpensive, and protective. But more than anything, they’re about agency. Because everyone should have the right to say, “This is who I am. Here is what matters to me, and this is who I trust.”
Find the appropriate documents for your state here.
How to Start the Conversation
It doesn’t have to be heavy. You don’t have to scare them. You can start by modeling vulnerability. You might say, “I’ve been thinking about what I’d want if something ever happened to me. But I realized I don’t know what you would want. Can we talk about that?”
Let it be a conversation, not a checklist. And if they’re willing, help them get their choices in writing.
Listen Here:
