Just Because You Love Someone Doesn't Mean They're the Right Person for the Job
When I was first practicing law in Nashville, I lived about eight miles from my office. Every Friday, I ran to work with my dog, Oliver. One week, I had what I thought was a brilliant idea. Instead of carrying my work clothes in my backpack, I'd buy Oliver his own backpack so he could carry them.
I buckled it on and Oliver refused to move. He didn't take a single step. He just stood in the driveway looking at me as if to say, Absolutely not. So, I unpacked his backpack, stuffed everything into mine, and we headed to work the way we always had.
Looking back, I realize I made a mistake. I never stopped to ask whether the backpack was something Oliver could realistically carry. I simply decided it was his job.
I see families make a similar mistake with estate planning. When it's time to choose an executor, trustee, or agent under a power of attorney, many people start with the person they love or trust the most. While trust is important, it's only part of the equation. The better question is whether that person is actually the right fit for the responsibility.
Serving as an executor often means gathering financial records, working with attorneys and accountants, paying bills, communicating with family members, and navigating the probate process. A trustee may be responsible for managing investments, making distributions over many years, filing tax returns, and balancing the needs of multiple beneficiaries. An agent under a financial power of attorney may need to make time-sensitive financial decisions during an already stressful period.
Before naming someone, consider asking yourself a few questions:
Do they have the time to take on this responsibility?
Are they organized and comfortable handling financial matters?
Can they remain calm if family members disagree?
Do they live close enough to manage what needs to be done?
Most importantly, are they willing to serve?
One of the most valuable parts of the estate planning process is talking through these decisions before you sign your documents. Choosing the right people to carry out your wishes can make the administration of your estate significantly easier for the loved ones you leave behind.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do, for both the people you love and the success of your estate plan, is to make sure the backpack, and the load it carries, truly fits.
Curious what it’s really like to serve as executor? Check out these podcast episodes:
Episode 87: How to Avoid Costly Mistakes After a Death
Episode 6: What to Know Before Choosing an Executor or Agreeing to Serve as One
