How to Prevent your Estate Plan from Becoming a Family Battlefield
In Michigan, a recent guardianship case caught my attention—not just because it happened where I live, but because it’s the kind of story I see over and over again, in different forms, across the country.
The case is In re Guardianship of AMS. I don’t know AMS’s real name, so I’ll call her Anne.
Anne was incapacitated and, without prior planning in place, the probate court stepped in to appoint a legal guardian to make decisions on her behalf.
Anne’s daughters, Theresa and Kristin, each filed separate petitions asking to be named as her guardian.
But the court didn’t choose either of them. It appointed Anne’s husband, Thomas.
After his appointment, Thomas moved Anne into a nursing facility. Not long after, Anne’s daughter Theresa asked the court to either remove or modify Thomas’s role. She said he wasn’t letting Anne’s family visit her.
The court brought in a guardian ad litem, or GAL, who acts as the court’s eyes and ears. The GAL reported that Thomas wasn’t responding to communication, hadn’t cooperated during earlier proceedings, and that Anne wanted to see her daughters.
So the probate court removed Thomas and appointed a public guardian instead.
You might agree with that decision. You might not. But it didn’t end there.
Thomas appealed—and he won. The appellate court reversed the decision. Why? Because the probate court hadn’t followed the rules. The notice it gave Thomas and Anne said the hearing was to modify the guardianship, not remove him altogether. That matters.
Also, before removing a guardian, the court has to conduct what's called a “suitability analysis.” Not just for Thomas, but for each person who might be qualified to serve. In Michigan, like many states, the law lays out an order of preference. Spouses come first. Then adult children, who are treated equally in terms of priority. So even if Thomas wasn’t the right choice, the court needed to consider Theresa and Kristin before appointing the public guardian.
Now the case goes back to probate court. And in the meantime, the clock keeps ticking. Legal bills keep mounting and family relationships fray even further.
This case isn’t just about a technical mistake. It’s about a real woman, Anne, who’s sick and vulnerable. And it’s about the people who love her trying to do what they think is best.
This week on The Death Readiness Podcast, I talk with professional fiduciary Sara Ecklein about situations like Anne’s. What happens when there’s no plan in place? What happens when families can’t agree on who should take the lead?
A neutral third party, like a professional fiduciary, can prevent these breakdowns from happening.
Curious whether a professional fiduciary might make sense for your family?
Take my free quiz: deathreadiness.com/pro
It’s ten quick multiple-choice questions to help you think through where conflict might arise and whether it’s worth bringing in neutral support before things spiral.
Anne’s case is a cautionary tale, not because anyone did something malicious, but because everyone was trying to help and it still fell apart.
Let’s learn from Anne’s story. Let’s do better for our own families.
Listen to Episode 16 here:
