Preparing for your Parent’s Cognitive Decline Before it’s too Late
When a parent’s health starts to decline, the questions you never wanted to ask become urgent. Bills still need to be paid, decisions still need to be made. Are you legally allowed to step in?
This week on our first Tuesday Triage episode, I tackled a question from a listener named Molly. Her situation might sound familiar to you.
Molly’s Question. Molly’s parents are in their late 70s. Her mother has moderate dementia, and her care needs are increasing. Thankfully, her parents have both financial and healthcare powers of attorney, as well as healthcare advance directives, in place.
But Molly wants to know what proactive steps she should take now. Specifically, she asked: Should I, as the successor agent on my mother’s power of attorney, be added to her bank accounts?
A successor agent is the person named to act as agent if the primary or current agent is no longer able to act.
Molly’s dad is listed as the primary agent on her mom’s power of attorney and is still competent. Molly worries that if her dad predeceases her mom, Molly won’t have taken the appropriate steps to pay bills and support her mom.
The Importance of Being Proactive. I love that Molly used the word “proactive.” She’s asking the right questions today to prepare for tomorrow.
First, here are a few helpful terms related to powers of attorney.
The person granting the power is the principal.
The person receiving the power to act on the principal’s behalf is the agent.
“Power of attorney” refers not only to the power granted, but to the legal document itself.
For example, if I sign a power of attorney giving my husband Jeremy the right to make decisions for me, I am the principal, and he is the agent.
To grant a power of attorney, the person granting the power must have mental capacity, meaning they can understand information and make decisions based on it. That’s why Molly’s mom signing while she still had mental capacity was so important.
Can Molly add her name to her mom’s bank accounts? Because Molly’s dad is the current agent under the power of attorney and remains competent, Molly cannot add her name to her mother’s bank accounts right now. She has no authority to do so as a successor agent until her father can no longer act.
But there’s another piece to this:
Can Molly’s dad, as agent under his wife’s power of attorney, add his name, as agent, to her bank accounts?
It depends on two things
The type of power of attorney
Immediate Power of Attorney: Takes effect as soon as it’s signed. For example, the power of attorney I gave to Jeremy is immediate, meaning he can act today, even though I’m fully capable. This is practical if I become incapacitated because he wouldn’t need additional paperwork documenting my incapacity in order to act. But it also means he could use the power of attorney without my knowledge while I still have capacity. That’s the tradeoff.
Springing Power of Attorney: “Springs” into effect upon incapacity, as defined in the document. Often, a springing power of attorney requires two physicians to sign statements declaring the principal is incapable of managing their affairs in order for the agent to have the authority to act.
The extent of Molly’s mother’s dementia. Molly described her mom as having moderate dementia. If her mother’s power of attorney is springing, it needs to be determined whether her dementia meets the document’s incapacity threshold. If it does, and there is appropriate documentation of the incapacity per the terms of the document, Molly’s dad can act as agent and add his name, as agent, to her bank accounts.
What about Molly’s role? Molly can only add herself to her mother’s bank accounts if she is actively serving as agent. If her father predeceases her mother, Molly would use his death certificate to prove he can no longer serve, allowing her to step in as the successor agent.
Practical steps you should take now. Even if you have authority under a power of attorney, it won’t help much if you don’t know what your parent owns or what bills need to be paid.
I strongly recommend gathering this information before cognitive decline progresses further. Here are a few resources to help:
Personal Important Information Sheet
Social security number, phone, computer, and email passwords.
Home Important Information Sheet
Security systems, access codes, WiFi networks, and service providers.
Medical Information Sheet
Insurance details, medications, medical conditions, and treatment plans.
Asset and Contact Resources
Documenting assets and identifying key people in your parent’s life.
You can find all of these resources here.
One more critical note. Make sure you have access to the original power of attorney document. If you ever need to sell real estate on a parent’s behalf, the title attorney will require the original document—and you might not be told that until the night before closing.
I know it’s hard to think about your parents declining. But if you’ve been stalling, you know that stalling is hard, too. It keeps you up at night. As difficult as it is to have these conversations and confront your parents’ fragility, it’s necessary.
I’m so grateful to Molly for reaching out and suggesting this topic. Being proactive takes courage, and I hope her courage gives you the nudge you need to take the next best step for your family.
Need help understanding a power of attorney? If you’re still unsure whether your parent’s power of attorney is immediate or springing, or what it really allows you to do, let’s talk. Schedule a free 15-minute call with me here.
Have a question for Tuesday Triage? If you have a question you’d like me to answer on a future Tuesday Triage episode, just send me an email at jill@deathreadiness.com.
Listen to Episode 17 here:
